BOSTON (WHDH) - “We have been gutted. Gutted from — our core is gone,” said Sarah Sacuto-Jones, widow of BU Professor David Jones.

She remembers the moment she learned her husband was gone.

“They told us there had been an accident. And that David was dead,” said Sacuto-Jones.

It’s the first time we are hearing her talk about the accident that changed her life forever – and left her three kids without their dad.

“He was the playmate. He was the confidante, he was the friend,” she said.

Just 40 years old, David Jones was a professor at Boston University.

He lost his life when he fell through a broken section of the rusted staircase next to the JFK T station in Boston last year.

“I don’t even know if i kissed him goodbye,” Sacuto-Jones said.

Sarah’s heart-wrenching remembrances were recorded by her lawyer and given to the MBTA and the Massachusetts Department of Transportation as part of settlement negotiations.

She gave us permission to share the video and her tributes to the husband who helped her battle colon cancer.

“He carried us and I just had to worry about putting one foot in front of the other,” Sacuto-Jones said.

David was training for an ultramarathon and went out for a run.

This surveillance video shows him approach the staircase, but we don’t see clearly how he enters. The stairs had been shut down for more than a year and access was limited by a temporary fence.

The family’s attorney, Darin Colucci, says the stairway wasn’t properly blocked.

“It’s callous indifference to the public.  And the manifestation of it, is his death,” said Colucci.

Sarah was enjoying a neighborhood party when two State Troopers came to see her.

“I started screaming that it should have been me. I was the one who had to die, who was supposed to die.  And Thomas threw himself to the ground, crying and screaming– ‘Who’s going to take care of me now?'” Sacuto-Jones said.

Before David died, Sarah learned her cancer treatments had worked.

But losing him makes her more worried about the future.

“My biggest fear is that my cancer will come back and that my children will be completely orphaned at a young age,” Sacuto-Jones said.

I talked to Sarah’s attorney about what he hopes her recorded words will do.

“They have approached this continually about this desire to resolve the case but their actions have been otherwise.

“They’re not fully understanding that they’re dealing with people’s lives and the remnants of their lives after what they lost. And I’m hoping that that puts it in clearer focus for them.”

As you can see the staircase has been removed now.

All that’s left is a concrete base with this fencing around it.

As to what’s next in this case, we reached out to the MBTA and the Department of Transportation – both declined to talk with us.

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