LANDAFF, N.H. (AP) — Spc. Alan Burgess is not forgotten.
On Tuesday, a group of friends, family and fellow soldiers gathered at the Landaff Cemetery to mark the 15th anniversary of his death.
They included his older sister, Melissa.
“It’s great to see he’s remembered, even after 15 years,” she said, adding the pain of his loss remains fresh. “It doesn’t go away. If anything, you miss him even more. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss him.”
Serving with the New Hampshire National Guard in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul, Burgess was killed when a car bomb detonated near his vehicle on Oct. 15, 2004. He was 24.
The tragedy had a profound effect on his fellow soldiers.
“It was the only death the whole company experienced in Iraq and it was just a showstopper,” said Burgess’ squad leader, retired Sgt. Walter Dellinger. “That was the first time that we got hit hard and it took a life. We went from invincible to, ‘This is real, and we can get hurt.'”
Years later, Dellinger still feels the hurt.
“It kind of hits you right here,” said Dellinger, pointing to his heart. “I didn’t bring all my guys back. I mean, he’s here, but he’s not standing here. That’s a tough thing.”
People continue to visit Burgess’ grave, to remember and reflect, particularly on his birthday May 30 or the anniversary of his death on Oct. 15.
One of those people is 46-year-old Marc Vallieres, Burgess’ roommate in Iraq.
“I just like to be by myself with him,” said Vallieres. “I just like to talk to him sometimes, ask him how he’s doing. Just normal stuff.”
On Tuesday, more than two dozen showed up, many of them soldiers who served alongside Burgess. They spent hours recalling his humor and his humanity, trading stories that often ended with laughter.
“Having the guys together, having the memories come back, it makes me happy. I love it when they talk about him,” said Burgess’ younger sister, Emily.
Added Melissa, “Getting to hear those memories, it’s like bringing him back alive.”
Many recalled Burgess as a prankster.
Serving in the 2nd Battalion, 197th Field Artillery Forward, Burgess’ unit was often used for transport assignments, and as a joke he bought and mounted a taxi light for the top of his Humvee. The fare for his ‘taxi’ was a bottle of non-alcoholic beer.
They also remembered his compassion.
Burgess took a particular interest in the Iraqi children, often handing out candy or toys during daily missions.
“I remember one time I went on patrol with them, they went through one of those small streets, and there’s a video somewhere of it, the kids followed them like a parade,” recalled Burgess’ platoon sergeant, retired Sgt. Robert Haynes. “They would stop and take care of the families, they would give candy and Frisbees to the kids, stuff you wouldn’t normally see on patrols. And they took a little bit of heat for it once in a while. They did. They got in trouble for stopping. Some people didn’t want them doing that. But Alan was one of those, along with the rest of them, that felt like we were there to help them, not occupy them.”
For years Haynes kept reminders of Burgess — a spare set of dog tags and a photo of Burgess holding a rifle with a comically oversized scope — but could not bring himself to visit the grave site in Landaff until not.
“Everyone grieves in different ways. I had meant to come a couple of different times but, I don’t know,” said Haynes. “But then I was talking to one of my soldiers and he said ‘You know, this is the 15th year.'”
Haynes decided the time was right.
He pulled up to the cemetery on Tuesday and was welcomed warmly. He gave the dog tags to Burgess’ sister, Melissa. He showed the photo, underneath which was concealed his incident report on Burgess’ death. He called the get-together cathartic.
“I spent those last few hours with (Alan) before he passed, and that stays with you, you don’t lose that, it’s just there, but coming here and seeing all of them . it was really good,” Haynes said. “It really did bring closure.”
“Not that the wound is not there. There’s always a scar afterwards and you can touch the scar, you can feel where there was once a wound. It just doesn’t hurt like it used to, but it’s still physical. It’s there, you can feel it.”
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